Food Glorious Food!

I can be swayed by very few things, however, the power of food has me completely in it's unctuous grasp.

I can get very serious food envy, in fact, as a family, we ALL suffer from food envy, this is not helpful if we go out for a meal, as someone will be seriously miffed at the sight and taste of another persons choice.  Leona gets food envy at crisp mint chocolate sticks (especially when I am cramming them in side wards, looking like Wallace and Grommit - trying to suppress my chocolate mint craving.....), Craig gets crisp and biscuit envy, even when Florrie (the dog) has hers...., Daisy is a cheese freak, and will only have to think about feta before she is pacing and begging for me to let her open the new packet in the fridge to have with her meal, whatever it may be...  Both Meg and Craig suffer from chocolate envy.  He would steal it from the children, for which I can not say a blooming word about as I have been known to stoop as low as emptying Daisy's rubbish sherbet sticks, just to get a sugar fix……. How I never fell into a diabetic coma from the amount of sweets I consume, especially when Meg's in hospital is a miracle.

My love affair with food, started when I was 16 and after another fall-out with my parents, I left home.  I had no job. No where to live and absolutely no idea what I should do next.  My pride made me determined that I would become independent and so I had many jobs over the next few years to keep me fed and a roof over my head.

One of my favourites was working for MacDonalds! Now before you 'pooh pooh' this, just remember, I wasn't as daft as I looked...(ok, so after my initiation process where they made me 'dry' the shredded lettuce under the hand-dryer, cue lettuce-shredded-kitchen-storm and locked me in the freezer, and held me over the griddle by the seat of my flares and neck, all of which I took with hilarity and a good wallop to those who dished it out- I was accepted and held in quite high esteem!) Here was a regular paid job, with superb prospects if I wished to pursue it.  I worked with a young team, who were all great fun, and actually looked out for each other.  I was walked home by other members of staff if working late. And yep, you guessed it, I was given a 'meal' on every shift.  It was hard work, so what?! I worked my way up the ladder and ended up as Training Squad, regularly travelling to Oxford, Birmingham, London to train other staff up.  It was great. And if it taught me anything, it was never to take food for granted.  I had four days of not eating anything before I took the job at MD.  That level of hunger takes you to another plane.....  And even Craig is aware that when the children have left home at some point, I WILL definitely work in a soup kitchen for a period of time.  When my kids waste food, and sometimes aren't quite aware of where we as parents started from, I always play the "you have no idea what your father and I had to go through to get where we are today, so you don't have to....." card. For me, they know I'm really mad if I say it.

I remember being so excited when we were first married at buying our first lamb joint.... I roasted it to perfection, with all the trimmings.  So pleased with my culinary skill, I watched Craig savour every last mouthful.

"So then, did you like it?" I enthused...
"Yeah" he said nonchalantly
"What do you mean...... 'Yeah'" I asked in amazement - how could he be so unenthusiastic?
"It was nice!" He said
"NICE! NICE!" I said, "What was it then?"
"The wing Of course!"

It was at this point, that I realised I would have to educate him in the art of food, and I can honestly say, he has never made that mistake again......

Otherwise I would have to barbecue him - complete with sticky marinade.