Mirror, Mirror, on the wall - You are a mother after all!

So…. Mothers Day will be upon us on Sunday.  I am lucky enough to have all the girls here for dinner, and by all the girls, I mean my daughters - Meg and Daisy, my sister - Lu and my nieces - Alex, Gina and Ivy. I love each and every one of these girls as if she were my own, regardless of relationship.

Being so involved with Turner Syndrome, I am more aware than ever about the heartache that infertility can bring.  After all, even without Turners, I was thrown in the bottomless pit of despair on more than one occasion.  Five miscarriages can take it's toll, both mentally and physically.  I needed a helping hand to have Meg (and lord knows where Daisy came from…..).  But still, I am aware that the choice of having children being taken away can be a cruel and heartbreaking thing.

Ofcourse, not everybody wants to have children, and so assumption and questioning must not be spoken freely.  I have several friends that live fulfilled and enriched lives without their own offspring, but it is absolutely necessary, that these 'Aunties' are thanked just as much on Mothers Day.

The woman who founded Mothers Day, wasn't herself a 'mother'.  She was hopelessly devoted to her own mother, and spent years pursuing a national holiday, succeeding in 1914.

Just think about those 'Aunties' who have bought shoes that were wanted, lunches bought, ballet lessons provided, or just times that have made someone feel special, someone who has smoothed things over when things have been fraught with tension and tears, the one who sat through dreadful school assemblies/concerts/home plays and really looked like she was having a good time!

Special 'Animal Aunties' that look after and nurture animals (Daisy would kill me if I didn't mention them!).

What about those 'Aunties' that look after the sick, disabled and elderly, without any question that they may be busy with their own lives, it is almost expected that they step in and take over, without any special thanks……

These women are mothers at heart, even though children did not come to them.  I want to personally thank them, because they show up when the rest of us can't or won't - too busy with our own children, or because we can't figure out how to get it all done.  Let's have a word of thanks to those that get involved, not for the sake of their children, but for the sake of yours and mine.

I am amazed at the amount of 'mothers' who put unnecessary pressure on their children to produce offspring, and that grandchildren are a given right.

Let us love what we have, whatever the relationship - Grannies, Mummies, 'Aunties', Daughters, Sisters, Friends and choose to celebrate that, instead of focusing on what we think we 'should have'.  I relish the day that Daisy fulfils her maternal pull - and brings round Gary The Gecko (you think I'm joking…), and whatever is in store for Meg, Leona, Alex, Gina, and Ivy I take with great satisfaction that somewhere along the line, they will remember my fierce loyalty and love that I gave unreservedly - albeit a tiny bit crazy.

Happy Crazy Lady Sunday - aka 'Mothers Day xxxxx

No pain… no gain?

Meg has had a rubbish month. Fact.

The dizziness and nausea has almost kept her confined to bed.  It is a crappy time.  It seems such a long time ago when she could walk, never mind run (albeit, usually into things) and enjoy the 'normal' things in life.  Ofcourse, this type of lifestyle is typical when you have a child (or indeed an adult) with special needs.

Turner girls/ladies have a high pain threshold, which can be very dangerous, as illnesses and accidental damage to their bodies may not surface until they reach crisis point.  For us, this was proven on many occasions:

E.g 1.  In Junior School, She ran into the corner of a playground boat at playtime in the morning, the bruising didn't come out until home-time when I went to collect her and was greeted by the Headmistress - who took me aside into her office to apologise profusely that they weren't aware that she had had an accident, as she didn't make a sound about it until the eye had completely closed and the swelling was 'annoying her'. A trip to A & E was interesting and the Paediatrician couldn't make it any clearer that she was very close to losing her eye.

E.g. 2. Following a very unsettled night (no different to any other night) at the age of about 4, it wasn't until the morning when she went to hold my face that I focused on her hand, which was twice the size it should have been and a deep shade of purple..... She had managed to find a hair bobble and tie it around her wrist..... A&E again were very stern and luckily the blood managed to make its way back from her hand by about 6 hours.

E.g. 3. Exploding finger tip. Turner girls have hyper convex nails, so that, along with a poor lymphatic system and no pain receptors = numerous trips to A & E with exploding ends of digits, when 'whitlows' have refused to get better on their own (how many times did I have to tell the GP....) and ending up with her fingers looking like exploding cigars from a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

E.g. 4. She managed to pull a whole metal filing cabinet drawer onto her toe, which, at the time was only covered in a sock (her foot…. not the filing cabinet…) PUT YOUR SLIPPERS ON! You can imagine the mess, and this was only discovered when I went to put her in the bath and saw her tiny toe completely split in two.

I could go on and on with this, and those of you that have known Meg since she was a baby, will remember how accident prone she was, actually -  she still is…..

This learning exercise has taught me, not to play down the importance of telling schools and groups that your daughter is involved in the importance of keeping your eyes peeled 360 degrees constantly, and when they say they have a sore 'whatever' or they feel poorly. They do. It is all too easy for a healthcare professional or teacher or group leader not to 'get' the implications that can lead on from a simple accident to these girls. You are truly the only person who knows your child.  Not the teacher, who has a whole class to see to, not your G.P. Who we all know, we as parents have had to educate, and not even your Endocrinologist or other Consultants who you see for probably a maximum of 20 minutes.  Our children are not straight out of medical text books.

They are unique and beautifully so.

Then of course, on the other side of the coin I have darling Daisy, who calls for Air Ambulance every time she gets a paper cut...….  *sighs and gets a plaster out*.