In which I become half of Cagney and Lacey….

That first week after finding out the builder had gone into voluntary liquidation was only just the beginning of what was to be the most physically exhausting years of our lives.

Three floors of building works, all at different levels.  An absolute nightmare.  Also, I didn't sign up to be a builder! Or a Project Manager! Or a Demented Mother!  It was an absolute necessity that the shop carried on as normal, as we had no other income coming in, so Craig was working at full speed, to make sure things didn't slip.

The day after the 'bad news' was a Sunday.  Craig was in shock, and we took Alex and Georgina back to school in London.  We spent most of the morning talking via the phone to one of our Carpenters regarding the project and how much had been completed.  Monday was going to be full on.

I dropped the children off to school/nursery and went down to the shop.  By the time I got there, some of the building sub-contractors, plumbers and electricians had already bullied their way into the building to pick up their tools and any other materials that they wanted to take.  This sent me into orbit, like a woman possessed (even worse than when I threw the whole streets wheelie bins in the middle of the road on bin day, because I couldn't get my pram down the path…. that's what a lack of sleep does to you!).

I took phone calls from horrible angry men regarding their loss of earnings, which had nothing to do with us as we had already paid Mr Wayne Kerr.  The first conversation was very apologetic. The second one I tried to be sympathetic but by the third one, I just said, "Here, let me give you Mr Wayne Kerrs home address, perhaps you'd like to take it up with him instead of being so aggressive to me?"  Ofcourse, in desperation these people were only trying to get what they needed, but who had lost the most!  I remember a double glazing company ringing and sending an invoice for the windows that we had ALREADY paid for, he was the most vile and brutal man I have ever spoken to, that conversation changed my outlook in the flick of a switch.  He left a message and I rang him straight back.  My words were 'choice' and ones I don't use very often, but they were spat out with fury and new found strength.  I was dangerously quiet and very direct. It resulted in him giving me an apology and a promise of not bothering us ever again….

Meg being diagnosed before all this hitting the fan had changed my priorities.  Whilst it was horrific, Meg's health came first.  It was after all, only money. Craig of course didn't see it like I did.  However, I was now in charge of a building project and Craig dealt with the Banks (I have absolutely NO patience even to this day with banks.)

I became a builder, carrying a 100 years of a theatres rubble and ceiling down 3 flights of steps in a Monkey Bucket (much to the hilarity of Travis and Perkins staff, I could never get the words right -  aka Gorilla Tub).  My knees were shot. Organising, ordering, buying, collecting, getting the best price. And learning a new language, one that I realised I had a natural talent for - 'Builders Tongue'. I picked the children up from school/nursery on a number of occasions looking like I had stepped out of a Dust Mine.  My hair was 'grey' for a loooooong time.

Three incidents come to light regarding this project.  That made me realise that I was perhaps crazier than most…..

The first was in the first week when Craig had tried to sort out collection of our £80,000 lift.  Wayne Kerr had told Craig that it was 'Safe' in his mates lock up, but when both Craig and the Carpenter went down to check on it, and organise delivery, they were met by a steely thug who said he wasn't releasing anything.  By the time I got to the shop, Craig was nearly beside himself, we had already lost hundreds of thousands, we certainly couldn't afford to lose a lift that we had already paid for.

I went into overdrive.  After being short tempered with Craig and the Carpenter, it was the only way to get myself into character, (and perhaps to make myself believe I was a tough woman…) I got into my Gangster Car, my Black Citroen C3 (complete with Disney Child Seat).  My music was on loud and I screeched into the industrial estate just in time for everybody's tea break.  It was then that I saw Wayne Kerrs car at the bottom, like a bat out of hell, I drove at full pelt to it, turning the wheel at the very last minute, and using the handbrake for effect I wouldn't have cared if I had written it off.  I could have killed him for putting us through all this.  No, seriously, I could have killed him.  Anyway, luckily, I stopped about an inch away from his car blocking him in. Breathing slowly, I put my shades on, wound down my windows, turned up my music and waited.  The whole of the industrial estate were out looking at the lunatic in the black car.

A unit door opened and out Wayne Kerr came, face ashen and hands up in the air, saying "I don't want any trouble".
I got out the car like Cagney and Lacey swishing my black rain mac, like a professional Detective Sergeant… walking over to him, I held his gaze and replied, "It's a bit late for that isn't it? Now where's my lift?"
"Oh you don't need to worry about that, it's safe."
"And you think I will trust you with what you've just done to us?……I don't think so.  I will ask you one last time.  Where. Is. My. Lift?"
"It's in the end lock up."
"Right, let me see it, and I will be back this afternoon to pick it up."
Uncomfortably he shuffled into the corner lock up, I was greeted by about 6 big men, one behind the desk was the obvious 'Big Boy' who had spoken to Craig.  The shutters were down, and the fluorescent lighting flickering and buzzing.Tools were scattered around, and three of the men were holding bars.  I stood steady and looked dead straight at him. Wayne Kerr said, "This is Dom, she's come to see the lift"
"Actually, can we just make something clear?  It's Mrs Cubitt to you, and I am here to arrange collection of the lift this afternoon, so make sure someone's here to open up."
"Errrm, yes, she can do what she wants."
"I think so Wayne, considering it's my lift."
And so I was lead out the back way of the unit, through rooms, with little in them, and 6 burley men following me.
There was a lot of nodding and unspoken communication between the men during this time, of which I blazingly stared at them all.  I swear my eyes were glowing red.  I could feel fury flowing from my arms..
The end unit was opened, and there like the Golden Chalice was our lift! I almost cried out with joy, but composing myself I turned round and said right, "get a forklift truck ready for this afternoon, I'll be back by 1pm"
"We haven't got anybody to drive the forklift."
"I can get somebody to do that." (I didn't know ANYBODY who could drive a forklift truck!!!)
and so the time had been set.
The men started to walk back with Big Boy and Wayne Kerr went to follow them.
"Err, I haven't finished with you yet Wayne" I said
"Let me make one thing quite clear.  If my lift isn't ready to go this afternoon, there are going to be serious repercussions, do you understand me?" and with that I swished my coat, put my shades back on, and got into my car, wheel spinning away out of the industrial unit.

Shaking like I was stuck to a vibrating plate, I went back to the shop.

Our lift was coming home!